"The family is one of nature's masterpieces"

That's a quote from George Santayana, a Spanish-born philosopher who lived and wrote in the US during the late 1800's and early 1900's. I didn't know who he was until I looked him up online (I love the internet), though when I went to his Wikipedia page I immediately recognized a few of his other aphorisms ("Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" was one).

Recently I've been looking up quotations on particular themes. The last time I remember doing this was before my wedding in 1995. It is so much easier now, thanks to the internet! It can also suck me down the rabbit hole... more than once I've looked up from my computer and realized I'm spending waaaay too much time seeking out someone else's words to perfectly capture something I hope to communicate.

I am constantly reminded of the power of words. It reminds me so much of my dad to think about language and expression, both verbal and written. I think as much as I wish for world peace, I wish for the world to acknowledge the gift and power of words. In fact, I doubt the former will ever be possible without the latter. One quote I'd love to erase from all recognition (and from all schoolyards) is "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me." Bull. Words can cripple. It's interesting to me that I can't find a source for this particular bit of "wisdom." Not even on the internet!

I wish I knew (or could find!) a similarly catchy phrase to convey the opposite, more positive concept: words given kindly and at the right time can heal many wounds. Words can't erase pain or undo damage, but they can ease and soften things gone wrong.

I'm sure this seems especially resonant to me since I'm coming to the end of summer vacation. I've spent many weeks in the almost constant company of my two children, with all the associated ups and downs of siblings in proximity and inconsistent schedules. I've heard the full spectrum of their interactions, from the heartwarming to the infuriating. I am pleased that they are mostly kind to each other, and even when fighting they rarely call each other names or attack each other verbally. But they do get on each other's nerves, and I've realized the bigger trangression in my eyes than physically striking out is using words meant to hurt.

And while I know I maintain a level of control (on both the verbal and the physical) in our home and within our family, I also recognize we're in the countdown to back-to-school. The playground is a whole new territory for Evan, which he'll share 3 times each day with hundreds of other first through third graders. Lydia will be in the sixth grade this year, and I wonder how she will inhabit the role of "big kid on campus." I hope my children will continue to be thoughtful of each other and all others. I hope they will think before reacting to whatever frustrations they encounter. I hope Andrew and I have done right by them and given them the foundations they need to be good citizens.

Well, I've gotten far off topic from my Santayana quote. It's a quiet August weekend and Andrew and the kids are away. I'm home alone (deja vu from last August). Yet this whole rambling flight of words all makes perfect sense to me and the paths my thoughts are travelling. I see so much responsibility in the role of family. I know things cannot get measurably better in the "outside world" if we aren't working on the things in our inner worlds.

I'll close with these words of (somebody else's) wisdom: "Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them." ~Richard L. Evans

Happy almost end of summer to all...